... the one is the best ..

... most of us may think that the best person for us is the person who never fails to make us happy.., always be there to offer the most comfortable hugs when we need one... The one who would never hurt you.. the one who are heaven sent.. :)

... thinking back.. almost whole of my life i've been having such thoughts designing my perception towards what my married life should be.. come to think of it- how naive.. Some may disagree with me- yes.. of course- everyone deserved to be loved..sincerely and wholeheartedly. Still- without we realizing it- by putting such standards we have placed ourselves on a verge of getting hurt.

.. I belief that marriage is match made in heaven. It is HE who assigns certain individual for us and because of that..i belief the designated individual is the best person for us. It took me sometime to realize this. I was hurt..heart broken..still..as tears frequently blinded my eyes..i found my way closer to God... and with such lonely path a first- i learnt the reasons God has assigned someone special for us to walk the path of life with- well... I learnt that loving someone should not be overshadowed by expectation for that someone is only His being.. God holds his heart..in fact everyone's heart.

Life is all about changes.. Nothing is guaranteed. A love pledge made today carries no guarantee of its validity tomorrow. A change of hearts happens with His permission. Hence.., love thy spouse with no expectation. I learnt through out the years that it is only He..the All Mighty that owns our hopes..expectation- for He never turn His back on His promises. "Your Lord has said, 'Call upon Me and I will answer you..." (al-mukmin: 60). Things may not change in time as we expected..but.. at least in waiting..we strengthened our faith to Him bit by bit..and that's all that matters...and because of this- the person who causes our heartache..who broke our heart is the very best person designed for us for because of him/her..we found our strength..and we had strengthened our faith to God. Hence- he/her has made us a better person..a better humble being of HIS.

Whenever i think of this.. I am grateful..and each time when asked if i could turn back time..i would never hesitate to say that- i would never change a thing.. not a single thing.. not even the very day my heart was broken into pieces.. I belief- my heart was made to be broken so that i learnt to love appropriately.. to love 'correctly'..to love someone not by defining what i understand about love but to love someone according to how it is supposed to be loved for he is heaven sent..specially assigned for me to love with no expectation..

...and that's reality- designed to have such an overpowering taste of bitterness where the sweetness could only be tasted when we are strong enough to search for it in every bitterness that we swallowed. The one..is still the best not for being a great lover nor a responsible and caring spouse but also for being selected by God as someone who blinded us with tears..drench us in sorrow that lead us to discovery of our own strength..our own worth..our ownselves at our very best.. All praise to God for His unlimited love onto His beings. May we be led to the path filled with His blessings..ameennn..

love.. in the name of God

Have you been in a situation when you have to be parted with your love ones? The state of not being together... what more- when you are married and distance becomes the barrier of your completeness in life.. The idea of living together soon would only sadden you..

Heart aches.. the longing.. yearning for moments together is no longer a stranger to you.. especially when it comes to the day that you normally spend together. I remember how  - i couldn't get my feet out from my door. I fear the sight that i would see... families spending time together.. lovers holding hands walking aimlessly.. Looking at these people hurt me.. I normally end up going back with a heavy heart- what more when the person i missed so much was not there to share my feelings for the moment.. what more the person whom i rely in comforting me..sharing my feelings- my other half -was not there for me to lean on..

Things will begin to get worst when the trust that you have begin to shaken.. friends especially would remind you of the bitter truth about distance love and thoughts of it might happen to you would start to creep in slowly.. weakening your strength bit by bit.. Its kinda of disheartening..right?

I used to fill my days with sadness.. asking myself over and over again.. how can i bear this? How can i comfort myself when all the strength that i had to begin with- now seemed so weak.. It takes awhile.... a very long 'while' for me to realize that - the more i focus on things that is beyond my capability to control- the more frustrated and devastated i would become. It is beyond my capabilities to stop things from happening- so- why make things difficult and complicated?? The solution is - leave it to God. When God allow distance between two people.. it means - the call for reflection.. It is the LOVE you have that is put into the test.. what kind of love do you have for that special someone.. If you love him/her truly because of God.. that.. by all means- just throw every bit of worries..suspicions aside. The distance is created for a reason.

The distance itself actually is a blessing in disguise. Sometimes- when we love that someone special so much.. we tend to put our love for them first ... forgetting that the ONE that deserved our undying devoted love is His Almighty. I believe that is why distance between lovers..spouses are there to begin with.. Instead of losing sleep - yearning..worries for the uncertainties..the distance is a call for your moment with God. Such a feelings are there to begin with so that we got up and cry our hearts out to God.. The distance is there because God wanted us to reflect how ever-willing are we in being His humble being..  for when we truly .. sincerely love HIM.. we will begin to understand that.. loving someone starts with acknowledging God's gift for us.. i realized that  loving someone goes beyond loving him/her alone.. it requires a feeling.. of... 'i love you..not only because you are you .. i love you because i love you in the name of God' -- what does it mean??? This simply means.. it is because of God.. 'i love you'.. It is because you are a gift from God.. you are that special someone that God has assigned me to.. and with this i shall keep the trust.

Likewise..when a person loves you because of God.. come whatever may.. his/her love for you will stay safe as long as God permits-  for he/she will always be reminded that you are a special gift from God which requires them to be truthfull, faithfull and responsible of the responsibility that God has bestowed upon them to take care of you- whom God has assigned them to.

Having said that.. when love is tested.. just remember the distance and the person are only the test instruments.. verily.. :

"..WE have made some of you as trial for others:

will you have patience?

For Allah is One who sees all things"

- Al Furqan: 20 - 



time and acceptance

Things today has got me thinking.. particularly about dealing with difficulties in life. Be it dealing with someone who hurt you.. or with things that made you feel the world seemed so cold and lonely.

It 's kinda funny though.. come to think of it.. when somethings that we love so much happened.. things that we wish came true.. that moment seemed to move so swiftly that we wish we could freeze the time over and over again. We wish that everything would remain the same- the people we love, the things that we grow to be fond of would be just the way they are.. but- of course, life will never be that way. It is itself is a manifestation of changes.



The person who used to paint our world a palette of rainbow may be the very person who tainted our world in darkness.Things that made our life complete may no longer be the one that made us as a whole. This can be disheartening if we allow it to be and not only that -  time would seemed crawling..bit by bit and nothing seemed to change back like what it used to be -what more moving towards to the land called 'better'.

I believe that when such a change manifest itself in our life.., the sooner we accept the fact- the reality of change, the sooner we would be able to move on.

Owhh yes.. the questions will arise.. things like- why does he has to change.. why dont things get back the way they used to be.. and these questions will keep on lingering in our own thoughts that bit by bit.. we will soon succumb to feelings of hopelessness, depressed. The thoughts of happiness were being snatched away from our very own possession weakened every aspects of our very own strength. In the end- we lost ourselves in seeking for answers - in decifering things that is no longer the same.

Time - yes! The answer lies in time. It is not in person who has changed. It is not in the things that are lost - because - they are merely tools that God used in order to improve ourselves as His beings. The sooner we accept the reality of change, the sooner we will be able to deal with it and move on. We were not created by God to ponder on things that are lost - instead -  learn what is needed to be learnt.. to improve ourselves what is required as His better beings. If our heart were broken into pieces- never question why. Instead- look within ourselves. I believe we will soon find the answers are right there- in ourselves.

Dealing with endless heartache - is simply blinding. I was searching for answers elsewhere whereas the answers were right in me. I discover that today- I learn that I am still attached to my own 'euthopia'. I learn that I have to let go of things- The past is not for me to hold on to for they are just memories for me to look back and smile..yes- for me to smile and say, thank you God for letting me know what is like to be loved .. and most of all- the most valueable answer that i have within myself is- strength.. God wanted me to be strong. He wanted me to strengthen my faith. He wanted me to improve myself as His humble being- new and improved!

It doesnt matter if things were not the same anymore- just let it be. If it is meant to be changed- a love to be lost.. accept it with faith. Just remember- God, the creator of heaven, earth and everything that is between them. Things are taken away are taken for good..for God never let His beings live emptyhanded unless He replaces them with something better. The key is faith, patience and perseverance for "..which is left you by Allah is best for you, if you (but) believed" (Hud: 86).



When one door closes...



It's kinda cliche to hear.. when one door closes.. the other one opens. It is not the matter of a door closes and the other one opens. It is more of how we deal with the closed door.. How do we actually deal with closed doors? How do we actually manage when part of what is used to be- can never be any more? The most difficult part is how do we handle ourselves for more often than not - changes in life like this requires more than just letting go.

The more we focused on why.. how the door closed- the more blind we became in realising there more than just a door that open.

The more attached we are with the particular door- the more difficult we are of letting go.

Life can be ironic. Or- wait!! Life IS ironic.
It is painfully beautiful - just the way we were born. It was painful for mothers yet so beautiful the very first sight of their crying infant. When a door closed- no doubt it will be painful especially for the heart and mind to accept the fact that it has gone. Things that happened around me recently has made me realised the beauty of God's plans for each and every single of HIS slaves. Some seemed so blessed with a perfect life and some were not that lucky - we began to judge their life through our own viewpoint and expectations.
I guess if we keep on looking at others fortunate lifes- we will end up being miserable.Why? Because we soon realised there are more than just one miserable door of happiness that is closed for us! Why suffer for no reason?? The fact will remain the same unless we are determined to change. To have that kind of determination- i guess one should always think good.

To start with - we should start thinking positively.  What has happened - has happened for a good cause. Strengthen our faith in God - belief that God has allowed things to happen for He wants us to cherish life. I belief when a door closes- it closes because God never wants us to be too attached to only one reason to be happy for the beauty of His creation and His gifts to all His beings are abundance. So when one door closes.. lets closed our eyes and say.. 'Dear God.. I belief in You.. grant me a deeper understanding of Your plans on me.. Please strengthen my faith and my belief. Verily, my life and death is for You.. O Allah.. "

 " Never give up hope on Allah's soothing mercy :
truly no one despairs on Allah's soothing mercy,

except those no have no faith"
(Yusuf:87)