Words... when words are uttered, they spread the plague. The plague of expectations. I didn't realized this till the day i finally come face to face with a lost. The lost of the credibility of the words i used to hang on to... The lost of validity of promises .. The lost of hope.
The world for me before- was filled with dependencies. Dependent on words upon words uttered. Dependent on the being - of always being there for me... Dependent of support.. protection.. comfort.. name it- it's everything! Owh well - Tell me - who doesn't? Particularly with the one whom we placed our heart to.
....and that's where I go wrong - being too dependent..holding on to words when they finally become JUST words being uttered.
A nightmare - I was awaken by a horrible one tonight. So horrible that i woke up feeling so frightened and helpless. Just this one nightmare- i got up and in the midst of calming myself down.. i realized...
If years ago- i guess being haunted by nightmares will never be a problem for i know there's always that someone that i could rely on 'protecting' me.. calming me.. comforting me.
If years ago- having to worry on some things would not be a burden for me for i know i have someone to share my worries with.. there- immediately..
If years ago.... yes! If years ago...
No one wants to be alone- particularly when the peace of mind is being shattered.
However - when we place too much dependencies on others instead of the Rightful One - we ourselves have jeopardised our own peace state of mind. I come to realized this with this nightmare tonight which- has left me feeling grateful. I am grateful that - with His mercy.. and love I realized that because of this lost.. i have come to depend on HIM.. His words... His words are the only words I depended on now. It is only His words that is true. Only His words can heal.. calm or even protect me.
I should have recited his words to protect me. I should have remembered His words of reminder to calm me... I should have hold on only to HIS words. NOT to words being uttered - YEARS AGO.
Words are just words being uttered. It is with His permission that these words become valid. Stating to someone "I LOVE YOU" sounds like a promise that I'm giving my heart and soul to you.. that my ONLY love is for you.. that you are always the one that I LOVE. But that statement comes with a validity - whether the 3 powerful words are valid for a period of time or are they just words... or... they become a phrase that holds a lifetime validity.
.... and ... this validity is only in the hands of GOD ....
so... when words being uttered.. matters to worry .. things to be frightened of .. dreams being shattered.. - be patient, have faith.. just hold on tightly to His words.. for only His words are true.
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"So be patient, [O Muhammad]. Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth. And ask forgiveness for your sin and exalt [ Allah ] with praise of your Lord in the evening and the morning. "
Ghafir: 55
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