love and rizq

to love and to be loved in return. 

Love is often perceived as an entity of ownership - so much so that when we fall out of love we hold frustrations or even grudges to the person whom we expect to sustain their shower of love onto us. 

I was one till a fated talk between two friends woke me up. 

....

It was raining heavily and i was driving. Just like the dark skies, my heart sank as i drove passed the hills. I need to clear my perspectives on things.. then she called. We talked.. exchanged updates and as the heavy raindrops flows onto my windscreen.. my feelings spilled out- of frustrations to be the one being ignored.. of self-loathe for being too weak to fight.. too weak to be on my own..

"Love is not an entity of ownership. It's not ours to give nor to hold. 

It is an entity of rizq of which only God decides who owns it"

Her very words describing love - an entity of rizq kept me quiet for a long time. All these while i've placed myself in a jar filled with discontentment.. frustrations and grudges towards that someone whom i thought could love me the way i wanted him to. How i have wronged myself! How could i questioned my rights of having his love when.. his love itself is - the rizq.

How we human so often than not tainted our thoughts with expectations especially when it comes to love. We accommodate ourselves with expectations and hopes that tend to surpass the reality - God holds the heart. It is not how much love we should have.. but it is more of how much love we are destined to hold n that's the RIZQ. When we accept love as an entity of RIZQ.. then- be it love lost or shared, ignored or cherished we will be at peace not only with the person but most importantly with ourselves.

Allah gives provision to whom He wills without account

(Al -Baqarah: 212)