Heart aches.. the longing.. yearning for moments together is no longer a stranger to you.. especially when it comes to the day that you normally spend together. I remember how - i couldn't get my feet out from my door. I fear the sight that i would see... families spending time together.. lovers holding hands walking aimlessly.. Looking at these people hurt me.. I normally end up going back with a heavy heart- what more when the person i missed so much was not there to share my feelings for the moment.. what more the person whom i rely in comforting me..sharing my feelings- my other half -was not there for me to lean on..
Things will begin to get worst when the trust that you have begin to shaken.. friends especially would remind you of the bitter truth about distance love and thoughts of it might happen to you would start to creep in slowly.. weakening your strength bit by bit.. Its kinda of disheartening..right?
I used to fill my days with sadness.. asking myself over and over again.. how can i bear this? How can i comfort myself when all the strength that i had to begin with- now seemed so weak.. It takes awhile.... a very long 'while' for me to realize that - the more i focus on things that is beyond my capability to control- the more frustrated and devastated i would become. It is beyond my capabilities to stop things from happening- so- why make things difficult and complicated?? The solution is - leave it to God. When God allow distance between two people.. it means - the call for reflection.. It is the LOVE you have that is put into the test.. what kind of love do you have for that special someone.. If you love him/her truly because of God.. that.. by all means- just throw every bit of worries..suspicions aside. The distance is created for a reason.
The distance itself actually is a blessing in disguise. Sometimes- when we love that someone special so much.. we tend to put our love for them first ... forgetting that the ONE that deserved our undying devoted love is His Almighty. I believe that is why distance between lovers..spouses are there to begin with.. Instead of losing sleep - yearning..worries for the uncertainties..the distance is a call for your moment with God. Such a feelings are there to begin with so that we got up and cry our hearts out to God.. The distance is there because God wanted us to reflect how ever-willing are we in being His humble being.. for when we truly .. sincerely love HIM.. we will begin to understand that.. loving someone starts with acknowledging God's gift for us.. i realized that loving someone goes beyond loving him/her alone.. it requires a feeling.. of... 'i love you..not only because you are you .. i love you because i love you in the name of God' -- what does it mean??? This simply means.. it is because of God.. 'i love you'.. It is because you are a gift from God.. you are that special someone that God has assigned me to.. and with this i shall keep the trust.
Likewise..when a person loves you because of God.. come whatever may.. his/her love for you will stay safe as long as God permits- for he/she will always be reminded that you are a special gift from God which requires them to be truthfull, faithfull and responsible of the responsibility that God has bestowed upon them to take care of you- whom God has assigned them to.
Having said that.. when love is tested.. just remember the distance and the person are only the test instruments.. verily.. :
"..WE have made some of you as trial for others:
will you have patience?
For Allah is One who sees all things"
- Al Furqan: 20 -
