Their silence most of the time do send me back to the grave of depression and when they seemed to ignore my cry for help..their actions rob my last coin of hope to face my life with positivism. But then... i have to remind myself... NOBODY.. not even one single soul is designed to do this- to be d perfect one whom u can rely and said - that's the one i can rely on.. Hey! Even your own shadow leaves u! Wake up! Hoo.. yeah right.. like those were the time i can really wake up! Like those were the time i can really console myself..
Being alone- with no one to share what you shouldered all these years carrying the bag of grief is not a favorable situation that anyone would want. What more life nowadays - it is so much on the fast track - that some of us could not afford a single second for a soul that needed our help- sometimes it just cant be done. and.. with that.. i did try to tell myself- i should not be even more depressed with the silence. Friends.. families.. everyone- are not designed to be the one who is always there for you to face each heart wrenching moments.. to bare the cold in the grave of depression.
but then again.. i have to bow to the fact that.. i have feelings and these feelings just couldn't just go away. Sometimes - you just feel really tired of fighting that you just dropped on your knees and succumb to the feelings. . . . And whether we like it or not.. that is a part of being HUMAN - designed in such a way that we are full of feelings, enriched with levels of perceptions and spoiled by tons of expectations.
Sadly, not many of us are able to accept this part of being human. Most of us would deny the fact that sometimes we need to endure this part of being human - the part where we become weak and where it seemed like there's nothing we can do except to be on our knees.. weeping at our own defeat! What makes it more sad is that.. we failed to realized that.. with this part of being human, we become a little bit more dependent on Allah. Alone but not alone.. and having this part of being human is a gift.. a reminder.. a detour to the route- the only route that leads to HIM.. and with this- it is suffice to be optimistic about life.. about being human- all weak and dependent.. this what makes this breathing beautiful! Alhamdulillah...
but then again.. i have to bow to the fact that.. i have feelings and these feelings just couldn't just go away. Sometimes - you just feel really tired of fighting that you just dropped on your knees and succumb to the feelings. . . . And whether we like it or not.. that is a part of being HUMAN - designed in such a way that we are full of feelings, enriched with levels of perceptions and spoiled by tons of expectations.
Sadly, not many of us are able to accept this part of being human. Most of us would deny the fact that sometimes we need to endure this part of being human - the part where we become weak and where it seemed like there's nothing we can do except to be on our knees.. weeping at our own defeat! What makes it more sad is that.. we failed to realized that.. with this part of being human, we become a little bit more dependent on Allah. Alone but not alone.. and having this part of being human is a gift.. a reminder.. a detour to the route- the only route that leads to HIM.. and with this- it is suffice to be optimistic about life.. about being human- all weak and dependent.. this what makes this breathing beautiful! Alhamdulillah...
Our Lord, and make us Muslims [in submission] to You and from our descendants a Muslim nation [in submission] to You. And show us our rites and accept our repentance. Indeed, You are the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.
(Al Baqarah : 128)
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